Living in Hong Kong and travelling in the region for the last 18 months has given me some great insights to Asian cultures and the variations that they have. Just as it is in Europe and throughout the Western world there are certain important nuances that differ. It’s complex and I’m still learning!! So let’s talk about fish, just for fun…
As the wedding season is slowly starting up again after Covid, many of us will once again be attending weddings over the course of the summer, even if they are smaller than normal. Sometimes the rules and expectations of gift giving are not clear cut and we can be left wondering what are some of the do's and don'ts.
I recently had a fun filled Afternoon Tea lesson with obligatory Champagne in London. This wonderful tradition is quintessentially English and is such an elegant and sophisticated ritual, I decided to take my guest to the Queen’s favourite hotel in London, The Goring. A first visit for myself and my guest!
The Queen has been known to drop in here, as do many members of the Royal family (it’s where the Kate Middleton stayed before her wedding to Prince William). It's a particularly beautiful hotel, situated close to Buckingham Palace and is rumoured to have a secret tunnel which connects it directly to the palace, imagine if that were actually true! The Goring is delightfully serviced by well trained, friendly staff and even has an in-house Afternoon Tea Coordinator. The Goring is a holder of the Tea Guild’s Top London Afternoon Tea award and is the only hotel to have received a Royal Warrant from Her Majesty The Queen – for hospitality services. Royal Warrants of Appointment are a mark of recognition to those who supply goods or services to the Households of Her Majesty The Queen, His Royal Highness The Duke of Edinburgh or His Royal Highness The Prince of Wales. So my expectations were high!
I was not disappointed! Afternoon tea itself was delicious, with an "amuse bouche" to accompany the champagne, an abundance of delicate finger sandwiches available and tea replenished in the blink of an eye. I had a hard job teaching my client how to pour tea correctly as the staff kept beating us to it! Many London hotels serve Afternoon Tea at formal dining tables, but we were delighted to be seated at a low table with soft armchairs, exactly as The Duchess of Bedford (who started the fashion of “taking tea”) would have done in the 1800’s.
If you have ever wondered about the rituals of Afternoon tea, and the differences between hosting a tea party at home or in a hotel, then contact The Etiquette Consultant for your private session. This is not your normal everyday lesson, rather, it’s a luxurious occasion to be enjoyed and savoured in it’s entirety, just as much as the tea (and of course the Champagne)!
Julia Esteve
The Etiquette Consultant
The global business climate has never been more competitive than it is today. It is more important than ever for managers, business owners and employees to understand good corporate etiquette. The word “etiquette” might seem very out of date, but the essence of it is more important than ever. It is an essential business tool for individuals and companies, and it is an integral part of business culture throughout the world.
Here are 5 basic questions you can ask to find out if you or your business need corporate etiquette training…
1. Do you know how to correctly introduce senior colleagues to important clients and why global rank and status is important in business?
2. Do you know how and when to correctly give business cards or corporate gifts?
3. When you invite potential clients or VIP’s for a business dinner, do you know the correct seating protocol for around the table and how to prepare a seating plan according to business precedence?
4. During a business lunch, is it too early to talk business during starters or too late after dessert, do you know?
5. Do you know the cultural customs and communication styles of the country you are dealing or negotiating with?
If you don’t know how to answer these questions, you will likely make unnecessary mistakes, give the wrong impression and lose a potential client.
So what is Corporate Etiquette? It’s not only about writing emails and attitudes in the workplace. It is a standard framework which allows the correct communication to take place in an environment free from distractions. This is a framework by which people of all cultures can use to relate to one another in business collaborations. Relationships can then develop, issues can be resolved and objectives can be met.
A lack of corporate etiquette can have a profound impact in business situations but incorporating appropriate business etiquette will distinguish you and your business from the competition.
Find out more here about my full day and half day interactive courses in Corporate Etiquette & Protocol…
Cheat Sheet #1 may have prepared you for the selection of glasses at a formal table setting but what about cutlery? Cocktail fork, salad fork, fish fork, dinner fork, dessert fork...where to start? Don’t worry, a little knowledge goes a long way.
Outside to inside: Knives and spoons are placed on the right of the place setting and forks are placed on the left (with a few exceptions mentioned below). Remember always to use the cutlery from the outside first, working inwards for each course.
Forks: When forks are placed on the left side of the plate, the first fork to use will be the outside one, perhaps for an appetizer or salad. Then for the following course use the next fork, perhaps for a fish course, until you reach the last one closest to the plate which will be the dinner fork (unless you are dining in Britain, where you might find the dessert fork closest to the plate). There may be two, three or four forks on the left side of the plate. The only fork placed on the right side of the place setting would be an oyster fork, which would be the very first fork you would use. If a fork is placed above the plate it will be for dessert.
Knives: Knives are placed on the right side of a formal place setting. Again, the first knife to use will be the outside one, then for the next course use the next knife, until you reach the last one closest to the plate which will be the dinner knife (the same order as for the forks). Sometimes there may be no knife to accompany a salad course, and there may be a knife above the plate alongside a fork and spoon for the dessert and cheese course. A small additional knife is placed on the bread plate, which is for spreading your butter.
Spoons: Beside the knives you may find a teaspoon, possibly for a sorbet and soup spoon which will be furthest to the right away from the plate (sometimes the oyster fork will be placed on top of the spoon). A dessert spoon may be placed horizontally above your plate, spoon facing left, fork right.
Sometimes the rules of etiquette and fine dining can seem ridiculous or intimidating, but in fact, understanding these rules removes the worry and uncertainty and lets you relax and enjoy the food and company! That said, if you find yourself confused by all the utensils, simply take your cues from others at the table, as it’s always polite to wait, after all!
Julia Esteve
The Etiquette Consultant
Many thoughts and words may come to mind when we hear ‘Afternoon Tea’ including pretentious, old-fashioned, Downton Abbey…to name a few. However in recent years, traditional afternoon tea has become increasingly advantageous for businesses. But why? Well apart from the fun factor, here are a few reasons why Afternoon Tea can be better than a business lunch or dinner…
1. It’s practical - It’s sophisticated without being pretentious, less intimidating for guests and very convenient as it doesn’t invade the private time of clients.
2. It’s less formal - It’s a great balance between the business lunch and business meal and is a more relaxing environment.
3. It’s less time consuming - Afternoon tea usually lasts one to two hours. Ideal for a client who may have a busy schedule. Business dinners usually last upwards of two hours and then someone inevitably wants to have drinks….
4. It’s cost effective - The menu is usually clear cut, with the option of including a glass of champagne (if you’re looking to impress) but no risk of expensive bottles of wine.
5. It’s more productive - It’s more likely to be considered part of the business day instead of an ‘after work’ event. Everyone will still be in business mode!
6. It’s a different atmosphere - It’s not a formal restaurant, yet not a conference room…perfect!
7. There's a tea for everyone! - Black tea, green tea, white tea, red tea, and usually there is a tea sommelier on hand to help advise on blends, what a treat!
8. Everyone has to share - Believe it or not, sharing actually fosters communication, consideration and conversation. Who doesn’t need that in business?
9. There's little or no alcohol - Clients are unlikely to order wine or drinks during afternoon tea, so everyone will have clear heads and focus on business. A glass of champagne along with afternoon tea will add an extra something special for an important guest.
10. It’s a great way to end the day - As afternoon tea usually takes place towards the end of the business day, everyone can head home afterwards feeling a sense of accomplishment and still have the evening ahead to enjoy.
Julia Esteve
The Etiquette Consultant
Believe it or not, your body language plays a vital role in business. People do business with people who make them feel comfortable.
Making some small adjustments to your body language can boost your confidence and as a result improve your professional relationships and job performance.
“Research has now shown convincingly that if you change your body language, you can change many things about your approach to life. You can alter your mood before going out, feel more confident at work, become more likeable, and be more persuasive or convincing. When you change your body language you interact differently with people around you and they, in turn, will respond differently to you.” Excerpt From: Pease, Barbara The Definitive Book of Body Language.
Adjust your body language and make the right impression by following these tips:
Remember that body language strongly varies from culture to culture. If you are stepping out of your own comfort zone into that of another culture, be sure to prepare yourself for all the different rules of eye contact, personal space and body language.
Julia Esteve
The Etiquette Consultant
For graduates entering the professional world this autumn, soft skills are more important than ever. You may have landed the job…but can you keep it?
Here are 5 tips for young professionals preparing to take on the corporate world.
1. Know how to introduce yourself (and others). You should be able to introduce yourself and others with confidence. Prepare a brief self-introduction before an event and find out who else is attending. If you have to introduce people at a business event you need to know who they are and what they do. There is an important protocol for introductions. Be sure to shake hands with a confident grip and direct but brief eye contact as this will convey confidence and credibility.
2. Know how to dress correctly. Be appropriately dressed. Whether it is for a job interview or meeting, always be well-groomed. Your appearance speaks volumes about your character and people will judge you, so consider the image you want to portray.
3. Know how to speak. Nowadays when speaking, young professionals lean toward a more relaxed manner, probably as a result of social media. However, understanding how to communicate clearly and effectively will be fundamental in your success. Different businesses will have different expectations regarding professional and appropriate speech during meetings, presentations and even telephone conversations. It is better to err on the side of caution and be on the more formal side to start with.
4. Know how to write. Appropriate business language is not as easy as it sounds. To be professional it is essential to use correct and appropriate spelling, grammar and punctuation for most written communications. Of course how you write will be different from one social media outlet to another, just be sure to keep it appropriate – hashtags are not always necessary. For formal business communications it is better to remain business-like and use the relevant business language.
5. Know how be appropriate (wherever you are). Every communication that you have whether in the virtual world or otherwise will leave an impression. Learn how to network, how to dine and how to communicate in the style that is expected in your working environment. Remember that your online impression is equally important and sometimes even more important than your face to face impression. Pause for a moment before reaching for your phone during a meeting. You have control over your own image so be sure to control it to your advantage.
Taking the time to consider your business environment is critical. The rules of dressing and writing may vary according to industry but people will always remember people with good manners!
Julia Esteve
The Etiquette Consultant
As I am currently spending some time in Mexico, I want to share some important tips for doing business with this warm, friendly and interesting culture.
Greetings – Businessmen typically shake hands with one another and they may also pat each other on the back. Businesswomen will shake hands initially with newcomers but at a second introduction will very quickly will offer the right cheek for one kiss (to both male and female counterparts). This one kiss greeting at the start of the day and the end of the day is a daily ritual in the workplace. A visitor will quickly be included in this practice.
Concept of Time – While it is generally considerate for you to be punctual, you may have to wait for others to arrive for meetings or business meals. Timekeeping is quite fluid in Mexico and appointment times and meetings may not be strictly adhered to. Don’t take offence, just be aware that you may have to wait to get things started.
Business Style – Business dealings will proceed more slowly than some visitors are accustomed to. Foreign visitors should not attempt to change the speed of business in Mexico by trying to rush discussions or the decision-making processes. This may affect the professional relationship as impatience may be viewed as weakness.
Business Relationships – Mexico has a hierarchical and quite formal business structure, yet is warm and friendly. Relationship building is crucial in Mexican business and having a local intermediary at the correct hierarchal rank to assist with introductions will go a long way towards successful integration.
General Business Etiquette – Personal space may be closer than you are used to, but is similar to many Latin American countries. Business meals are considered important as this is the time during which relationships are built. The overall atmosphere of business and negotiations may depend on the region, with the southern regions leaning toward a more informal atmosphere while Mexico City and northern areas are slightly more reserved.
Julia Esteve
The Etiquette Consultant
I recently had the pleasure of giving a private dining etiquette session and I was asked the question “Is it better to eat using the American or Continental Style?” I have heard this question many, many times and always wonder why people think there are only two styles of eating.
There are various styles of eating throughout the world, and each style will be correct for the culture it belongs to. Everyone knows that in many countries chopsticks are used and that in other countries knives and forks are used. However, there are many variations in between. Whether it be using chopsticks, or using spoons and forks together, or using fingers only, each culture has it’s own etiquette for eating. In some cultures it is considered rude to leave food on the plate at the end of a meal, yet in others it is considered rude not to! You may consider it very rude to listen to someone making noise while they eat. Someone else reading this may consider it rude when no noise is made during eating. The variations are endless when it comes to styles of eating and manners at the table.
In the Western world where the majority of countries use a knife and fork, there are also various styles of using cutlery, including the American style, Continental style, British style and the European style, which actually has some slight variations according to country. So is there a preferred style? Is one style of eating more “correct” than the others?
Simply put…No! Each style of eating is correct. However, there are certain situations when one style of eating may not be appropriate. I encourage people to choose a style that they are comfortable with and use it daily. I also encourage people to be aware of other styles of eating and use them when necessary. For example, if you plan on travelling abroad for business, I would recommend using the Continental style of eating. This is the style of eating which is considered a happy medium for all cultures. Consider that in Britain, when dining the hands are kept below the table during the meal when the cutlery is not being used, but in France this is considered rude, and hands should always be visible at the dining table. So if you are visiting a country for the first time and expect to be invited for dinner by an acquaintance or client, I would recommend some research beforehand. You wouldn’t want to use your knife and fork in a manner that could unwittingly cause offence.
So what is the Continental Style of Eating?
This method is considered the most “diplomatic” style of eating. It is a style of eating that is recognized internationally, particularly by business people and diplomats. It is the least likely to cause offence anywhere in the world. If you use another style of eating, or mix different styles of eating, those around you may think that you don’t know how to eat politely and will judge you.
How to eat Continental style
The main consideration is how to use the utensils. This style of eating shouldn’t be too difficult for Europeans. It is harder for Americans who switch their fork between hands throughout the meal. With continental style the fork always stays in the left hand, with the tines pointed down, and the knife is always held by the right hand. The food is then speared by the fork and brought to the mouth with the tines facing down. The cutlery never changes hands.
Of course there are other differences to be aware of when using the Continental style of dining, including cutlery placement throughout the meal and at the end of the meal but if you remember to keep your fork in your left hand and your knife in your right hand, you can’t go too far wrong.
Julia Esteve
The Etiquette Consultant
