Living in Hong Kong and travelling in the region for the last 18 months has given me some great insights to Asian cultures and the variations that they have. Just as it is in Europe and throughout the Western world there are certain important nuances that differ.
For example, chopsticks are used widely in Asia, but some countries have different “etiquette rules” regarding how and when to use them. Whether it’s ok to make a noise while eating is also important, when to slurp and when not to slurp is dependent on where you are, slurping noodles is expected in some areas yet not so in others. Asian table settings, where to seat guests, what to do if you are the guest of honour, how to introduce oneself…. it’s complex and I’m still learning!!
I am sure you know the basics about Chinese dining etiquette, for example that sticking your chopsticks upright in a bowl of rice is considered disrespectful as it appears similar to sticks of incense usually seen at funerals or at temples, but do you know about some of the other details to pay attention to?
In traditional Chinese restaurants the tables will always be round. This is because most of the dishes are shared by all the guests. The dishes are placed in the centre of the table on a lazy susan (a round rotatable board) so that everyone can rotate it and take their turn to try each plate. However, you may be presented with a whole fish facing you if you are the guest of honour!
So this post is a small insight into Chinese dining and the importance/relevance of fish! Quite random yes? But you never know when these tips can be useful! Imagine your employer sends you on a business trip to China, you could be the guest of honour, presented with a fully prepared fish and be expected to eat and enjoy the fish eyes!! If you’re invited to an authentic Chinese dinner, here are my top tips for surviving the fish course!
Here’s what you need to know.
1. The direction the fish head is pointing
In China it’s quite traditional to serve fish whole, entirely intact, as this represents prosperity and harmony (the word for fish in Chinese is “yu” and the word for prosperity is also pronounced “yu”).
If presented this way the head of the fish will face the guest of honour. This part of the fish is considered a delicacy so it’s quite a privilege to be staring into the eyes! If you do find yourself as the guest of honour, don’t worry, you won’t be expected to de-bone it yourself or to serve others (in fact that may be considered rude). Your host or server will do this for you.
2. Flipping the fish
When formally dining in China, when the upper part of the fish has been eaten the fish should never be flipped over as this is believed by many to be bad luck. It’s symbolic of a fisherman’s boat capsizing or being flipped over. So when the upper side of the fish has been eaten, instead of turning it over, it’s expected that one should to remove the backbone to access and eat the other side.
3. The eyes of the fish
As these are considered another delicacy, the host may offer the eyeballs to the guest of honour. If you don’t fancy thought of eating fish eyes but at the same time you don’t want to offend your host, swallow them whole, just as you may do with an oyster… easy! If you really cannot bring yourself to eat them, show humility and offer them to someone else at the table, perhaps an elder person, this can show respect for age and deference (and get you off the hook!).
4. Heads & tails
Apart from sometimes removing the eyes and sometimes the cheeks to eat, the head and tail of an entire fish should remain intact. To break them off or separate them signifies breaking up good fortune which makes sense if the entire fish represents prosperity. However, fish heads are eaten in their entirety as an individual dish throughout China, but when a whole fish is served at the table, the head remains intact.
5. Serving oneself
You can expect to find two sets of chopsticks at a Chinese table where the food will be shared. The chopsticks on the outside of the place setting are used for serving yourself and the ones closest to the centre are for eating. So if you are helping yourself to some fish, use the serving chopsticks and place the fish directly onto your plate or bowl. You can then use the personal chopsticks and/or the spoon to eat.
6. The bones
To spit or not to spit? Obviously if you’re eating a portion from a whole fish that hasn’t been filleted for you, there may be some bones or something inedible. Be discrete, remove from your mouth with the spoon or chopsticks and place on your plate. No drama, just remove discreetly. Loud noises whilst eating and using toothpicks are acceptable but spitting food out is considered rude!
So if you have the pleasure of being hosted by a Chinese client or friend, I’m sure you’ll enjoy your fish, especially if served with a side of chicken feet, even if it may be a cultural adjustment!
Julia Esteve Boyd
The Etiquette Consultant