After entering the new world of virtually attending meetings what have you learned?  Are you more aware of what’s irritating to you and other people? For many of us, we’ve been working remotely for the last year and so virtual meetings have become a part of everyday life. Even although the world is slowing recovering from a pandemic and offices and businesses are getting back to business, the virtual world is here to stay. Many businesses are now offering more flexibility by allowing employees to work from home part time.

While there are many pros to working from home, the harsh reality is that some people are using Zoom, Teams or another platform for hours and hours every single day and it can be hard work. So first and foremost we need to learn to compromise with each other. Everyone’s home office situation is different so it’s easier for some and not so easy for others. There may be factors that are not within a person’s control that affect these online interactions. Businesses are now entering into the personal space of their employees (and clients) in a way that that has never happened before. Unfortunately not everyone has a perfect home office with perfect lighting, or somewhere to hide the dog or children for the day. These things can be understandable and of course excused, because this ‘new normal’ is not really what we signed up for is it?! 

So how can we find a way of observing at least some codes of etiquette? The simple answer? By understanding what is expected & and what is respected by others. 

The Japanese Example

Japan is a country that adheres strictly to the rules of hierarchy and they have created their own rules of ‘protocol’ for virtual meetings.  It’s interesting to see how they have managed to maintain their strict business standards in the virtual workplace. Many companies have created their own charts and illustrations showing how the respect for hierarchy should be observed when conducting meetings online.  The face of the most senior person is ‘placed’ on the upper left of the screen and those with more junior positions will have lower places on the screen.  There are other business rules that have transferred across to the virtual meetings such as bowing the head to the more senior members of the meeting and waiting for the most senior persons to leave the meeting first. OF COURSE I’m not suggesting that everyone should follow the Japanese etiquette but we can use their examples to remember that how we behave in a virtual meeting will leave an impression on our colleagues and/or clients, and we should want that impression to be positive.

So here are a few very simple unwritten rules of conduct that can make the difference to how you are perceived by others. 

1.   Don’t. Be. Late  I don’t know what’s worse - staring at a screen of faces making small talk while waiting for someone to arrive OR staring at yourself on a screen while waiting for someone to arrive. It’s so rude to arrive late for a meeting, it shows a real act of selfishness, that you consider your time more important than anyone else’s time. No commute = no excuse! (I read this somewhere and liked it). 

 2.   Turn on the camera  Unless you’re joining a meeting/webinar/event with hundreds of attendees you should be visible. If you’re required to communicate then you need to be visible and alert. Remember that you’re dealing with real people and interaction is more important than ever online. Don’t copy the example of someone I know who was caught ‘attending’ classes using a pre-recorded video of himself nodding and paying attention while he was actually doing something else! 

3.   Phone & messages I always put my phone on silent and keep it out of reach as I believe it’s courteous to pay attention and focus on the person(s) that you are communicating with. Logically if it’s an informal chat or you’re awaiting an important business call then yes, it would be acceptable to keep your phone nearby and visible, but it’s best on silent mode. That way if you need to answer a call you can excuse yourself discreetly. Try to think how would you behave during a normal face to face meeting? Would you answer a call? Send messages? It’s unlikely you would do that, so the same should apply virtually. It’s noticeable to others and disrespectful to whoever is speaking. 

4.   Dress codes Smart attire doesn’t always make sense, so unless you’re being interviewed on the BBC or CNN it’s really not necessary. However being tidy and well-groomed shows professionalism. Does a man need to wear a suit and tie? No of course not, unless he’s meeting the CEO of a company or attending a formal meeting, so he can ditch the tie but he should still be presentable. Does a woman need to wear a jacket? No, not necessarily, but that doesn’t mean to say a hoodie is the best look! What would she normally wear to the office or a meeting? Well a toned down look of that will suffice. When it comes to an interview, formal training/meeting or a first time meeting with an important or new client,  it’s safer to err on the side of caution and dress a little smarter. 

5.    Eating & drinking I have no objection to people drinking during coaching sessions and meetings but eating? Not so much, even during more informal meetings.  It’s noisy for others if you’re not on mute and it’s distracting for others if you are on mute!  Again, would you eat during a face to face meeting with others? Unlikely. That said, realistically there will be exceptions. I know from experience that sometimes a busy day doesn’t allow for a lunch break and there is no choice but to ‘eat on the job’. That’s the time to break all the rules… mute, turn off the camera and eat! Just let everyone know that you’re present but need to grab lunch so they don’t think you’re rude. 

To many people this all seems like common sense (which it should be), yet equally there are many people who don’t understand the importance of how they communicate during virtual meetings.  However by maintaining the core values of courtesy and respect that we would display during face to face communications can make our virtual communications more pleasant for everyone!

For more about Virtual Etiquette and many other topics sign up on Eventbrite for the Annual Women’s Conference on November 9th here: https://bit.ly/GlobalWomensConference

Julia Esteve 

The Etiquette Consultant